There was a King Hezekiah in the Old Testament with glowing reviews. “[He was] doing what was good and right and faithful before the Lord His God. In everything that he did in the service of God’s temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly.” (2 Chronicles 31:20) Many times in the account of kings in the Bible it will simply say: he ruled (thirty) years and did evil/right in the eyes of the Lord, but we get a little more with Hezekiah. We see where he had proud moments and God’s wrath was poured out upon Judah and Jerusalem. However, he repented and God’s wrath subsided. Toward the end of Hezekiah’s life – despite serving God faithfully, right and well – God left him. “But when ambassadors from Babylon came to ask him about the miraculous sign [in the heaven God had performed], GOD LEFT HIM to TEST HIM and to know everything that was in his heart.” This doesn’t seem right or fair. Hezekiah has served God faithfully, only to be left. But Hezekiah is not alone. Abraham was also told to go and sacrifice his child he loved, Isaac. I am sure Abraham felt abandoned by His Lord then, as well. Why would a loving Father do such a thing? We are told in Hezekiah’s case it was “to test him to KNOW EVERYTHING IN HIS HEART.” After Abraham’s ordeal,God is recorded as saying, “NOW I know that you love me [God] because you have not withheld [that which you love most] Isaac.” It is not popular in today’s culture to say God will leave us, but here we see (for a time) He will. Not to punish us, but to prune us – to see what we are made of. Perhaps for our knowledge as much as His. For those who love the Lord wholeheartedly, the testing will come, but those times are designed to teach us: show us where our weakness lie, produce perserverence and make our faith solid. The good news is the testing doesn’t last forever. “He setteth an end to the darkness” (Job 28:3). Stay strong and courageous, brave one! For the trying of our faith shall come forth as gold!

Genesis 22:3 is One of my favorite verses. “Early the next morning [Abraham went]”. Strange verse to be a favorite, I know. But what makes it my favorite centers around one word: EARLY.

Abraham was old. He’d had to wait over 90 years for his Promise – a son who would make him the Father of a Nation. But finally, after decades and a biggg manipulation, he becomes a father to Isaac.

Imagine his shock when, in verse 2, God tells him to take his son Isaac and SACRIFICE him upon a fiery altar! We have many accounts of God giving messages to people and usually they are followed up by questions from people: Moses asked if he could take his brother to help him speak, Mary asked how she would have a baby since she’d not known a man, and Gideon laid down a fleece prayer – TWICE – to confirm he heard God right in his call to battle.

But Abraham? There was no question. There was no “huh?”. There was no fleece. HE JUST OBEYED.

And he didn’t just OBEY, he obeyed IMMEDIATELY. “EARLY in the morning he left” to sacrifice his one and only son – his cherished promise. EARLY.

Oh, to have that kind of confidence in God! I pray God grants us all that kind of trust in Him!

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After a year of not being able to climb the stairs, dress myself in my pants & shoes & limited driving no one told me I’d have to learn to live again. Long after the cancer, i found myself still doing (and not doing) things the way I used to when I had cancer – because of habit – like selecting shoes that i could put on without help, not picking up things from the floor if they required I bend over, etc. FOur years later I still found myself bending over with my right leg stretched straight behind me. THE PAIN HAD LONG GONE BUT THE HABIT REMAINED. It took a while, reminders, and planning to retrain my mind and body to put away those old habits that didn’t suit me anymore. I had to be intentional in my thinking & actions. Similarly, as we grow in Christ, we will have to put away old habits that don’t suit us anymore. It is not easy. It takes a deliberate effort to identify & rid ourselves of those things. I Cor. 6:10-11 says “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” It is hard & sometimes soul wrenching, but it is possible with God’s help to change. What things don’t suit you as a Christian anymore? What habits need to be broken? Do you need to change the MANNER in which you do something – perhaps from harsh to softer? Take a minute today to self reflect and ask God to show you what no longer suits you & ask for help in breaking old chains. (Words by April Estes, art by Ruth Chou Simons)

They ask how things change after you stare death down. I say it’s the things you choose. Before, I rarely noticed a sunset. Now, every sunny sunset I am an observer – front and center. Before, I tried to be everything to everybody. Now, I choose thoughtfully where I spend my time & energy. I make time for deep conversations and friendships. Before, I’d say “let’s get together.” Now, each year I visit a bestie and vacation with the family. Before, I dreamed dreams. Now, I pursue them – writing songs & books- no longer afraid of rejection. Before, I hurried. Now I always literally smell & photograph the roses. I now pass on the name brand clothing to spend good money on good music & coffee. I went sand sliding in New Mexico with the kids, danced on the hotel bar in Vegas and rode the bull on Music Row. I rekindled & forgave, and let God restore my soul. I have finally learned how to suck out the marrow of life & not worry about the Joneses. Life, you see, after the Valley, is oh, so very sweet! Not because we are different, but because of what we choose. -A. Estes

“You can’t raise any two kids the same,” I’ve always heard, and I always attributed it to the fact that each child is different, and the same tactics will not necessarily be successful due to the personality differences of the children.  But now, in my forties versus my twenties, I mother my last child a lot differently than I did my first – not just due to how SHE is different from her siblings, but how I am different.

With the first, I had a VISION of what I wanted my little girl to become.  I planned long and hard to figure out how I could maneuver the universe to help me mold my little girl into the young lady I wanted.  Three kids and twenty years later, I am happy to report they (and old age) have broken me of that habit.  I no longer try to “sculpt” a child, but instead try to evaluate & ask, “What is (this) child’s strengths? How is (this) child inclined? And what sports/careers/etc suit that?”  I would like to say child rearing has gone a lot smoother since that transition – largely, it has, but then came our ADD, learning “dis”ability kid.  The kind of kid you have to tell 5 times to put his shoes on, who still puts his shorts on backward, and has to struggle so much it is painful just to write a sentence.  But he’s also the kid who cries at the heart-wrenching part of the movie, breaks into an English accent at random, and can tell you anything you ever want to know about any animal.  Seriously.  However, in a weak moment, I worried about my child.  In a world where college is King, “what would become of my boy?” I wondered, as I watched him make faces in the mirror.  And that’s when it hit me “making faces (acting) might be his slingshot.”

I had just read the story (AGAIN) of David and Goliath to my littles, and laughed when I thought of how it might have been to raise young David.  He was the runt, and not even considered “important enough” to be called among the seven sons when the prophet Samuel went to his father Jessie’s house to anoint the next King. He was tending sheep, which was considered one of the lowliest of jobs then.  I pictured his father standing at the door, perhaps watching his son occasionally, shaking his head and wondering what would ever become of his scrawny youngest – too lean and small to ever even think of becoming a strong farmer, much less a mighty warrior.  “Just look at him, honey, all little and unskilled…And all he ever does is play with that blasted slingshot!”

Slingshot.

The very thing that his father found little use for – maybe even annoyed him – was the very venue through which God would bring the victory to his people.

Keep your eyes open for your child’s “slingshot”.  It may just be his salvation.

[April Estes lives in Knoxville and discovered her son’s slingshot was performing: magic, acting, singing…despite the dyslexia]

I recently watched a report on the local news about a man who had been in Germany in World War II & dated a girl there. He had to return to the states, but wrote a letter asking her to marry him. She misunderstood his intentions and the two lost contact. They both went on to marry others and have families. Sixty years later, the two were being reunited in their eighties for a meeting. What struck me was the older gentleman’s vocabulary. Instead of saying “we fell in love”, he told of how they had met and had an initial ATTRACTION which led to a mutual FRIENDSHIP and FONDNESS. He only used the word love when he said he was married to his wife for 50 years “who he loved dearly”.

In this fast paced world of “one word fits all” mentality it was refreshing to hear love’s attributes subdivided and properly named – giving LOVE it’s rightful & honored place. He admitted there was attraction, fondness and maybe even passion…but love? That was reserved for his wife of 50 years, who truly LOVED (as a verb) everyday for 50 years. Today we love everything from ice cream to our mates. Passion and attraction are electric but it is love – giving, selfless, self sacrificing love – that holds the purse while she shops, swallows the snide remark that could win the argument and holds her hair when she’s sick. It is the hard stuff. The messy stuff. The “I’d rather not” stuff. It is loving in DEED, not merely feelings or words. PLet us, like I John 3:18 implores “love in word and deed and not just word only”. Passion and attraction are great. But let’s not settle for anything less than the best in love!

Besides salvation, one of the best blessings of following Christ is His promise of what is to come. Sometimes life goes as perfectly planned – but for most people it does not. If you are in the latter group, you are in good company. Jesus did not attain earthly rule, Moses did not get to enter the Promised Land, David did not get to build the Temple, Rahab the harlot never knew that it was HER lineage that brought the Savior of the world…There is an entire chapter in Hebrews 11 called the Chapter of Faith that lists people who did not get their reward this side of the grave EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE FAITHFUL AND DID EVERYTHING RIGHT. Even though that feels unfair, there is beauty in it. For, you see, our God is NOT LIMITED BY DEATH. If we don’t get our “reward” on this side, there is a whole other side – eternity – where God will reward, make things new, reunite loved ones and heal all wounds. Your loved one dies? It’s OK! Heaven is coming! You were wounded and wronged? It’s OK! Heaven is coming! The best, most anticipated things are sometimes not attained this side of the Veil: Jesus, Moses, the Isrealites, Rahab…all had to WAIT for their reward post-grave. BUT FOR THOSE WHO WAIT COME THE SPOILS! Hang on, weary soldier! The best is yet to come!

There is a poignant scene in the movie The Patriot where a white and black soldier are about to fight alongside each other. The black soldier is serving so that, at the end of his term, he will be a free man. Right before the two jump up to fight what very well might be their last battle, the white soldier looks at him and says, “And just what are you going to do with your freedom?” Even at a young age, the question cut through me, as if the character was speaking to me directly. Only, my spirit interpreted it as, “And just what are you going to do with your freedom here? Are you going to use it for selfish pursuits? Are you going to piddle your days away focusing on the trivial? Or are you going to make the most of your freedom in Christ – sharing the lifesaving Gospel news of Christ, raising your children to know Him, being a friend to the friendless and bringing hope to the hurting? You only have limited time, my friend, so…WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR FREEDOM?” It’s a question we all have to answer everyday when our feet hit the floor. Will our lives this day be used to help or hurt the kingdom? Will we use our God-given talents and opportunities to promote His agenda or our own? Time is limited, whether we like to think of it in that way or not. At the end of the journey, will we be happy with how we answer the Lord when He asks, “And just what did you do with your freedom?”

“It is well with my soul” is a conundrum. Many times we say it through gritted teeth, in anger, with tears seeping out of the corners of our eyes before we say it with surrender. For the christian, it does not mean everything is ok. It does not mean we are happy with events. It does not mean we approve or choose whatever catastrophic events we are in. It means that, whatever situation we find ourselves in, we realize that God can bring good from it, that whatever evil comes our way, our good Father is ultimately in control. He is also the god of Vengeance and the Just God – with mercy. It means we TRUST. we trust in the One who promises to make all things right and new and right. It is an admission that God is God, and we are not. It is a humble submission to trust that whatever comes our way, God will be with us, side by side in the fire and side by side on the cross.

I am a re-gifter.  I admit it.  And I know I am not the only one, because at our wedding shower we opened a gift from Rachel, the preacher’s daughter (who was also getting married that month), and inside was was a little card that said

To: Rachel and Steve        From: Carla and Jim

We had a good laugh over that one, and I was happy for it, because it became my favorite casserole dish (win, win).  But there are some instances when gifts are NOT used so positively… 

The devil roams around like a roaring lion, trying to devour all God followers.  He is so dirty he’ll even use the gifts and desires God places within us to use them AGAINST us. In the Garden, he used Eve’s desire to be like God (a noble desire) against her.  He told her she would “be like God, knowing good and evil” and by eating the fruit she would “become wise”. He tempted her so much that in her effort to be LIKE God, she FORGOT God. 

Later, he used Moses’ love for God’s people to stir up anger, which ended in Moses committing murder.

He used the passion of David (which made beautiful praise songs) notice a lady in a tub, which David allowed to end in unholy passions.

He used Joseph’s prophesies to all lead him to brag, leading in years of slavery and prison.

Part of our heavy responsibility is not only to USE the gifts God’s given us, but to also TAME them to continue to be used for the LORD, and not the enemy. The good news is even when we slip and fall (as all these did), God’s redemptive hand stays waiting to use us again, at just the right time and in just the right way. He is a master Restorer and second chance Granter.

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