Room at the Table

I was, essentially, “out of commission” from the family for a couple of years during the cancer battle and recovery. I remember telling my husband I feel like I’d gone away to prison, only to return and see all I’d missed and have to rebuild. The kids were 2 years older. The house was in shambles from neglect. I felt like a man returning from war only to find his wife had run off and his field was overgrown. You mistakingly think the battle was the illness only to find it was just the beginning. No where did I feel the sting more than at the dinner table. After being absent for so long, the kids had found a new rhythm (thankfully) – but they had moved on without me and I felt I no longer belonged in the family. It’s as if the hole from my absence had been filled. It was, indeed, the most heartbreaking part of the journey. I remember telling Jay I nightly felt like there was no room at the table for me anymore. The next day this song came on my radio and I crumbled. In God’s perfect way and in His perfect timing, He was reminding me that, yes, I did belong and, yes, there was still room. If the devil has you believing the false feelings that you don’t belong, it is a lie. There is no shame, cause your sin is “nothing He ain’t seen before”. Come, take your place at the table. There is room for you!